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There was no way the Liverpool Captain was going to be found guilty in a Liverpool court. I’ll remember that tonight when I beat six shades out of the DJ if he doesn’t play the music I like, surely the judge will let me off too now that there is a precedent been set by Gerrard???

Surely there weren’t enough Everton fans on the jury??? Absolute madness, this verdict sends out a shocking message to young people. Oh well at least I’ll know what to do if Gerrard ever asks me to change a CD for him. I’ll throw three punches at him and claim I was defending myself because he raised his voice at me.

I’ll just make sure that the trial takes place in Manchester and that the good men and women of the jury are all United fans.